I was asked by a reader to post this Missing Person’s Poster and am happy to do so. This is every parent’s nightmare — a child off medication disappears. For updates, you can visit the family’s Facebook page.
Daniel Goldstein
Mental Illnesses Never Take Vacations
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Patti and I took six of our children on vacation to the Outer Banks of North Carolina last week along with three of their significant others, and I witnessed something that I wasn’t certain I would ever see. 
While sitting comfortably in my beach chair with a cool breeze blowing ashore from the Atlantic Ocean, I watched Mike ride a boggie board on top a wave.
Four years ago in August, Mike was on a downward slide that would end badly with him becoming psychotic, being picked-up by the police and hospitalized for a sixth time because of his brain disorder. That would be his fourth major psychological break from when he was first diagnosed and when it happened, I had reached a point where I wondered if he would ever find a way to manage the symptoms of his illness. I felt helpless and, quite frankly, without hope.
Watching him at the beach last week, I turned in my chair to Patti, who was reading nearby, and said, “This is one of those rare moments in life when I can honestly say that I am totally and truly happy. I don’t know what will happen tomorrow, but today, I am happy.”
Listening to a Peer
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When my sister-in-law Joanne was diagnosed with cancer, my wife, Patti, immediately began searching the Internet for information and one of the most useful websites that she found was a blog being written by a woman undergoing cancer treatment. Patti became a faithful reader and found this woman’s writings helpful and inspiring. Up until Joanne’s death last year, Patti felt that she, Joanne, and the blogger were in the same foxhole.
No one thinks it’s odd to ask for direction from someone who has gone through a life-altering illness — except when it comes to mental disorders. Too often, persons with mental illnesses are ignored even after they have recovered from all symptoms of their illnesses. Part of the reason for this is stigma and the deeply held belief that persons who are “mentally ill” can’t be trusted to take charge of their own lives. 
Let me be clear here because this is an emotional subject, especially among parents, of which, I am one. When Mike became psychotic, I did not listen to his ranting. I stepped-in and did what I believed any decent human being would do when someone they love becomes so obviously mentally unstable that they need an intervention.
Common Sense, Huge Impact
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One of the lessons that I’ve learned visiting mental health programs in 46 states during the past four years is how often a small, common sense change in policy can have a huge impact on helping persons who are ill. 
I saw an example of this when I toured the Los Angeles City Jail, which many of you know has become the largest de facto public mental heath facility in our nation with an average population of 1,400 prisoners with mental disorders.
The Importance of Community Acceptance
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Lars and the Real Girl
The next time you are looking for a DVD to watch, rent Lars and the Real Girl, written by Nancy Oliver, and directed by Craig Gillespie. When it first came out, I had no interest in it because of the brief plot outline. The movie poster showed a man sitting on a coffin-like, wooden container that held a life-size sex doll. The plot outline said the man thought the doll was real.
That wasn’t a premise that interested me.
But then Mike saw it and told me that I should watch it and one night, Patti and I did.
I was blown away.
A sad day for all of us in Fairfax
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Tom Jackman has written a follow-up story about the shooting of Ian Smith in Herndon. You can read here.
Even though I normally don’t write on Thursdays and am out of town, I wanted to post it.
It is important for our community to get a full explanation about what happened the night Ian was shot. We need to know so that we can, hopefully, prevent future shootings. Obviously, my heart goes out to the entire Smith family. This is horrible. It is every family’s nightmare – calling for help and ending up having a loved one shot. The family is hurting and demanding answers. I am praying that Ian recovers. Please join me.
According to Jackman’s story, Major Tom Ryan was at the scene. While I have no inside knowledge about what happened that night, I can tell you that there is no one on the Fairfax County Police Department who has worked harder for persons with mental illness than Major Ryan. He is personally responsible for getting CIT training here. He has been its biggest booster. He cares about persons with mental illness.
And that makes this shooting incident especially tragic.
My heart goes out to the Smith family. My heart also goes out to Tom Ryan. This is a sad day for our entire Northern Virginia mental health community.
Let’s hope Ian recovers.
