My Son Says: “If You Are Afraid To Tell Your Story, Stigma Wins”

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When I wrote my book about mental illness and my family, I referred to my son by his middle name to protect his identity. Since its publication, Kevin has become a peer-to-peer specialist and an advocate for individuals with mental illnesses. We recently were interviewed by the local NBC station here. Kevin wrote about it on his Facebook page and when I read it, I asked if I could share it with you. I’m glad he said yes. We don’t agree on every issue but I greatly admire his courage in speaking out against stigma. 

By Kevin Earley

For anyone who hasn’t heard, I was interviewed by Mark Segraves of NBC channel four Washington today. They are doing a two minute piece for their Changing Minds series on mental illness and specifically for this piece they are focusing on the ordeals that my father and I went through during my past, and also profiling my current position in the mental health field. They interviewed me for about thirty minutes and my father spoke for just as long. I will update everyone as to when the piece airs, as of now, all I know is it is not slated for this week.

 

My dad was tearing up when he spoke about the time he felt like he wished I had “never been born” because he didn’t want to see me suffer and how it made him feel like a bad father for feeling that way. He talked about how he lied to police to get them to take me to the hospital and not to jail. We revisited what it is like getting Tasered, and how I now help to teach police better ways to avoid escalation and the irony of how I went from one side of the experience to the other side.

I talked about how I live day to day and what people can do to recover and control their own destiny in regards to their treatment. It was an emotional and surreal experience, especially since we were revisiting some of the darker parts of my life, but it reminded me how far I have come on my journey and how fortunate I am to still be alive and able to help others with my story.

I know there are probably some of you on my timeline who know me casually and may not be aware of my past, but I feel that being open and honest is the best way to deal with it. If you are afraid to tell your story, then the stigma wins, the fear wins and nothing changes. I am not naive, but hopefully, the story will reach others going through similar challenges and inspire them on their path. If that means that some people will look at me odd, or criticize me or think of me badly, then that’s the price I pay.

This continues to be a big issue in our country, as people everywhere are reaching their wits ends and violent shootings seem more and more commonplace, and I know that my name will be linked to this if I apply for jobs or if potential dates Google my name. But I can’t hide who I am and what I’ve been through and most importantly, how I overcame and ended up where I am now. I am fortunate that I beat the odds and have a happy ending to my story.

This is my life story and I’m not ashamed of my life or my story.

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What’s Happening to Rep. Murphy’s Mental Health Reform Bill?

murphy1If you are wondering what is happening to Rep. Tim Murphy’s Helping Families in Mental Health Crisis Act, also known as House Resolution 3717, you are not alone.

Here’s the latest.

About two weeks ago, Democrats who oppose the bill sat down with Rep. Murphy and his supporters. That meeting was called after the Energy and Commerce Committee Chairman, Rep. Fred Upton (R-Mich.), privately warned all sides that he wouldn’t move the bill forward unless a “consensus” was reached. If the bill doesn’t get released from Upton’s committee by the end of July, it will die and Rep. Murphy will have to start over when a new legislative year begins.

Several key players were at the sit down, including Rep. Diana DeGette, (D.-Colo.) who is the ranking member of the Energy and Commerce subcommittee on Oversight and Investigations which Rep. Murphy chairs, and Rep. Ron Barber (D- Ariz.)  who was wounded during the Tucson mass shooting and who is serving as the Democrats’ front man in blocking Murphy’s bill.

For those of you with short memories, here’s a recap.

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Arthur Walker Dies In Prison: A Naive Spy Who Lived In Brother’s Shadow

 

walkerxArthur James Walker, one of the major characters in my first book, FAMILY OF SPIES:  Inside the John Walker Spy Ring, is dead.

According to the federal Bureau of Prisons website, he died on July 7th, at a low level security prison in Butner, North Carolina. He was 79 years old and had served 29 years in prison after being convicted of committing espionage. He was one month away from a parole hearing. I’ve been told the cause of his death was acute kidney failure. I’ve also been told by a family friend that Art actually died on July 4th, Independence Day, and that the BOP simply did not get around to filing its paperwork until three days later.

Walker was the older brother of John Anthony Walker Jr., who remains in poor health, at the same Butner prison. John, who is 76,  is scheduled for parole on May  20, 2015, but is in the later stages of throat cancer, according to a family friend.

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On deadline – but will be back on schedule soon!

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For the past four years, I have published at least one blog per week. I am under pressure to get my new novel written by September 1st so I will be posting blogs on an irregular basis until after that deadline. Thanks for your patience and support.

Have a great summer!  

Pete Earley

Why I Wrote About My Father: Inspired By Another Author

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One reason why I wrote about my father’s dementia in The Washington Post last weekend and reprinted that personal account on my author’s blog was because I’d read an inspiring story in Publishers Weekly written by Laura Pritchett. An accomplished novelist, Pritchell said that she had drawn on her experience’s with her father, who has Alzheimer’s, in creating the main character in her new book, STARS GO BLUE. Her fictional character is slowly losing his mind to the illness.

….I wanted to write a novel based on my father. I also wrote to give him voice, which is why I made the decision to tell the story from his point of view (not an easy task, to tell a story via a diminishing mind.) I wanted him to say everything he wanted to say before the silence set in. Most of all, I wrote STARS GO BLUE to see him with renewed clarity, so that I could love him better and more deeply than every I had before.

 

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Thanks For Your Kind Words, Plus A Nice Note About RESILIENCE

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I wish to thank those of you who sent me emails or posted comments on Facebook about my recent Father’s Day blog. I was deeply touched by the concern and support that I received. I also appreciate how many of you shared your stories with me about your own parents and other loved ones with dementia.  Knowing that you cared enough to reach out to my family was deeply appreciated. 

I also have some good news to share.

Publishers Weekly, the bible of publishing, named the memoir that I have written with Jessie Close as one of the Top Ten Memoirs being published this fall. RESILIENCE will be officially published January 6th but is available for pre-order now. Grand Central Publishing announced an initial press run of 150,000 hardbacks. That’s more than any book I have participated in writing.

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