When do you go public?

What I like most about writing a blog is that it provides all of us another venue for exchanging ideas.  So I am going to ask for your help and advice.
One of the many questions that Mike and I wrestle with is: When should a person with a mental illness reveal his disorder? 
Should he disclose it on a job application when he is seeking employment?
Should he bring it up during an interview for a job?
On a personal level, when Mike is dating, when should he — if ever — mention it?

Spring, Family, and an Interview

Spring always has been my favorite season and this weekend was beautiful in the Washington D.C. area. It is difficult to imagine that only a few weeks ago, Patti and I were debating whether or not we needed to buy a snow blower because of the three feet of white powder  in our front yard.
Not only was the warm weather a welcome relief but my only brother, George, flew  in from Florida to visit and spend time with our parents, Elmer and Jean, who are 89 and 90 respectively. We persuaded my folks seven months ago to sell their home in Spearfish, South Dakota, and resettle near Patti and me. Having them here has been a blessing, especially since I only used to see them sporadically when they lived so far away. If you are wondering about my mother’s health, she fixed a full turkey dinner with all of the trimmings to celebrate my brother’s visit.Click to continue…

Helping Others Through Personal Tragedy

In 1995, a talented and much-loved 23 year old Californian named Jon Nadherny committed suicide. Jon was part of a blended family that included eight other siblings. His family contacted the Dominican Hospital Foundation in Santa Cruz and established a unique memorial to honor Jon. With help from the hospital, each year the family holds a one-day symposium at the Santa Cruz boardwalk that focuses on problems that young people face.

Obviously, suicide is an ongoing issue. In Santa Cruz, 190 young people ended their lives during a recent five year period. Nationally, two million young people between the ages of 15 to 24 attempt suicide.

Jon E. Nadherny

TWO MILLION! Of those, 700,000 require medical attention. More than 4,0000 succeed. Suicide is of special concern to those of us who love someone with a mental disorder because 90 percent of young suicide victims have at least one major psychiatric disorder.

This year’s Jon E. Nadherny symposium in Santa Cruz focused on mental illness and I was invited to speak along with three other advocates. One of my friends and mentors, Frederick J. Frese, PhD., began  the morning symposium and kept the sold-out crowd of 450 persons spell-bound for two hours. That’s right, he spoke for two solid hours and was so enthralling that no one left the room and everyone leaped to their feet in a rousing standing ovation when he ended.

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The Importance of Community Acceptance

Lars and the Real Girl

The next time you are looking for a DVD to watch, rent Lars and the Real Girl, written by Nancy Oliver, and directed by Craig Gillespie. When it first came out, I had no interest in it because of the  brief plot outline. The movie poster showed a man sitting on a coffin-like, wooden container that held a life-size sex doll.  The plot outline said the man thought the doll was real.
That wasn’t a premise that interested me.
But then Mike saw it and told me that I should watch it and one night, Patti and I did.

I was blown away.

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Prisons, Cats, and Giant Oilmen

Oklahoma State Penitentiary cellblock

The first time I went into a prison as a reporter was in the mid- 1970s when I worked at the now closed Tulsa Tribune.  The city editor, Windsor Ridenour, assigned me to cover a meeting at the Oklahoma State Penitentiary where the pardon and parole board was convening to decide who would remain behind bars and who would be freed.

I suspect Windsor wanted me to see a rougher side of life from what I had experienced as the son of a minister, but I doubt he had any idea how that visit would ultimately impact my life. I have never forgotten my first trip into the white knuckle hell that is McAlester and that experience is what ultimately caused me to return to prison a decade later and write The Hot House: Life Inside Leavenworth Prison, which recounts a year that I spent off-and-on inside a maximum security penitentiary.

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Why Won’t You Take Your Medication?

“Why won’t you just take your medication? I take pills for my cholesterol every night and its no big deal?”

“Every psychiatrist we’ve seen has said you have a mental illness. Why won’t you accept it? Why would the doctors tell you that you’re sick, if it weren’t true?”

“Let’s look at when you were doing well and when you got into trouble. What was the difference? Medication. It was the difference. When you were on your meds, you were fine. And when you weren’t, you got into trouble. Can’t you see that?”

These quotes may sound familiar to you if you are a parent and have a a son or daughter with a severe mental illness. I’ve said everyone of them to my son, Mike.

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