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What I like most about writing a blog is that it provides all of us another venue for exchanging ideas. So I am going to ask for your help and advice.
One of the many questions that Mike and I wrestle with is: When should a person with a mental illness reveal his disorder?
Should he disclose it on a job application when he is seeking employment?
Should he bring it up during an interview for a job?
On a personal level, when Mike is dating, when should he — if ever – mention it?
I’d like to hear your thoughts about this issue and would especially like to hear stories based on events that happened to you or your family.
Mike scolded me once when I told him that he should not disclose his bipolar diagnosis to a potential employer.
”You’re always telling me that I should not be embarrassed or ashamed of having an illness, yet you want me to keep quiet about it,” he said.
“I wish it were different,” I replied, “but stigma is stigma, and you aren’t going to get hired if you mention it without being asked. Tell the truth if asked, but otherwise don’t volunteer it.”
In my book, I describe how frustrated I became when Mike got turned down for a job at a local grocery store — despite having a college degree. I called a friend of mine who is a human relations director at a successful company and asked her for advice. She told me that she sympathized with me, but it really wasn’t about Mike. It was about liability. If Mike acted out after he was hired and other employees found out that she had hired him knowing that he had a mental illness, then the company could be liable, she explained. She told me to keep mum.
Disclosure is a serious issue whether it is at work, with friends, or when dating. I have been contacted by police officers who have told me that their futures would be jeopardized if they disclosed that they had a mental illness. I’ve even had a pilot tell me that he kept his severe depression hidden. Those of us who are old enough, remember how Thomas Eagleton was dumped as a Democratic Vice Presidential candidate after he revealed that he had suffered from depression, was hospitalized, and had undergone shock treatment Fear keeps us silent. It also increases stigma.
So please share with me your stories and insights. And don’t forget the flip-side of this issue. How would you feel if your son or daughter told you that she was dating someone with a mental illness?
Maybe your experiences can help others.
About the author:
About the author: Pete Earley is the bestselling author of such books as The Hot House and Crazy. When he is not spending time with his family, he tours the globe advocating for mental health reform.
