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Mutuality, Burning Houses, and Marches

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(drawing of MLK Jr by the Author)

 

“We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.”

  • Martin Luther King, Jr.

 

LOUD VOLUME

A lot is going on these days.  Recent events in Minnesota have seemed to raise the volume on an already loud conversation.  Today is a general labor strike against these abhorrent actions of ICE officials.  Being snowed in, which usually gives us time to rest, refresh, and recalibrate, has only seemed to give us more time to ponder the injustices that have been occurring for a while now.  People are protesting, boycotting, and marching against injustICE.  Again.  In the month where typically we honor Martin Luther King Jr’s birthday and the federal holiday associated with it, things are happening.

MUTUALITY

We live in a web of mutuality.  I am another you, you are another me.  What happens to you affects me and vice versa.  Early civilizations relied on each other.  When one member of a tribe suffered a devastating broken femur, they were not simply abandoned and forgotten about; other members stayed with, assisted, and helped the one with the broken femur recover.  While there is certainly competition in society and nature, there is also cooperation.

This narrative runs counter to ideas about “selfish genes”, “winners versus losers”, “survival of the fittest”, “rugged individualism”, and mantras like “greed is good”.  While wealth inequality is now higher than it was during levels of the Gilded Age, there are those still resistant to the ideas of mutuality and assisting those less fortunate.  I was reading about what some religious folks are describing as “the sin of empathy,” and it made me concerned for our collective humanity.

I believe that actions and deeds are not necessarily “sinful”, but take place upon a spectrum, where some of them are good, well-natured, and beneficial to self, and other deeds are detrimental, selfish, and against the common good.  Of course there are extreme actions, like murder and violation, that are universally seen as wrong throughout civilizations, but there also exist all the permutations in between those two sides of the spectrum.  One bad action, while it may be repugnant and shameful, may be redeemed by future actions.  Like Miles Davis once said, “It’s not the note you play that’s the wrong note—it’s the note you play afterwards that makes it right or wrong.”  Just as one bad deed can be redeemed by a good deed.  Obviously, there are limits to this though.

PUNISHMENT

(drawing of Bryan Stevenson by the author)

This brings us to punishment.  I don’t believe punitive measures are constructive, especially in a justice system with so much blatant racism and disparity as our current one.  Punitive measures foster shame; they foster defining a person by one single incident, when we all contain multitudes.  My father interviewed Bryan Stevenson, who famously said, “Each of us is more than the worse thing we’ve ever done”.

“If someone does something that is deemed “wrong” or violates the common good, focus on the next “note” and help them make sure the next note they play is productive and beneficial.  Don’t shame someone; encourage them to be better, lead through example, not through violence.

As far as the “sin of empathy”, I beg religious folk to consider the story of the good Samaritan or even the actual teachings from the sermon on the mount, by the man many claim to follow, but seem to know little about.  Empathy is not a “trap”, but a human experience that allows us to foster connections, not simply use others as ways to hold ourselves in a higher regard.

EMOTIONS

I know that many people with severe mental illnesses can be described as “too emotional”.  We are sensitive people; sometimes we are “too sensitive” or “too emotional”, or we are deemed that way.  What does that mean exactly?  Is there such a thing as too much empathy?  Can someone be too kind, too sensitive, or too emotional for this world?  People talk about having “tough skin” and “bucking up” as a way to encounter the world and move through it in a way that allows you to operate without being “too emotional”.  Especially as men, we are taught to suppress and hide our sensitivities, if not for our own sake, for the sake of others who are doing the same unspoken sacrifices and cringe at our empathy.

Would the world cease to revolve if the men were “too sensitive”?  What power structures and societal organizations thrive on a numb, pacified populace that doesn’t feel empathy for the pain it inflicts?  Could we raise “good” soldiers, company men, and rule followers if we were too empathetic? How much of the pain and injustice in the natural world do we have to tune out to survive in this society?

I take medication every day to function in this society. I often think of R.D. Laing’s quote, “It is no sign of sanity to be well adjusted to a sick society”.  I think of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s comment about how he feared he “may have integrated his people into a burning house”.  I wonder about this society, especially as I watch recent current events on television.  Are we all living in a “burning house”?

I still have my moments and my issues, as I am human and not a machine.  I have been to laboratory clinics in big pharmaceutical industries where they manipulate the receptors of dopamine in rodents.  I have seen maps of rodents’ brains and had the process of how these medications I take explained in great detail to me.  Despite all of this, I still don’t really understand how they work exactly.

I just know, through my lived experiences, that when I was off my medications, I would end up in fights, arguments, crying spells, emotional outbursts, paranoia, and altercations with police that resulted in hospitalizations.  When I am on my meds, none of that seems to happen.  I had a proven track record on and off my meds.  I couldn’t argue with the results.  Sometimes I feel guilt for being “well-adjusted” to this society, especially as long-held societal roles and norms are challenged and eroding in real time with the current political climate.  What does it mean to be “well-adjusted” to a sick, cruel society that shuns empathy?  What does it mean to integrate into a “burning house”?

MARCHING

(Author with family member at 2017 Women’s march.)

I think of my brother, whom I look up to.  Years ago, during the Black Lives Matter movement in popularity, we were going to a march.  He had been on several that year, so I asked him, “How many marches will you be going on?”

He replied, “As long as there is injustice, I will march!”, to which I replied, “Steve, there will always be injustice…” He looked at me and shrugged.

So the marches continue.

(Author with friend at 2014 BLM march in D.C.)

Ye’s Apology- Sincere or marketing ploy?

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“I hate being bi-polar, it’s awesome”

-Ye

There is a moment in the 2022 Kanye West documentary, “Jeen-Yuhs: A Kanye West Trilogy” that struck me personally very hard.  Kanye, or “Ye” as he prefers to be addressed now, was surrounded by some of his close advisors and inner circle.  He was clearly in the midst of a psychotic break, a manic phase punctuated by lucid, unrestrained thoughts and rambling word salad.  I am very personally familiar with that experience, as documented in my father’s work.

The moment that stood out to me, was when he looked at his entourage and told them that none of them knew what it was like to be arrested, handcuffed, and taken from his home due to his illness.  How I wish I was there!!!  Perhaps, as I do with my peer work, I could have averted the various crises that happened since that moment!!!  I know what that experience is like, because it happened to me.  How I wish I could have normalized his experience and consoled him during this fragile time.

I drew the portrait of Ye above in 2018.  At that time, I thought perhaps Ye has one of the best catalogues in hip-hop and music.  As a rapper/producer myself, one who lives with serious mental illness, I felt a close kinship to his work.  He was the soundtrack for much of our lives, we grew up listening to him, and his successes felt like our own.  He made what seemed like timeless music, won numerous awards, and seemingly cemented his status as a music icon.  That was until he would go on to then squander all of the goodwill he had garnered for over a decade by an ever-increasing series of tragic and odd decisions of his.

He would go on to say horrific things such as “Slavery was a choice”, harass and demean his ex-wife and her lover, become an early advocate for President Trump’s “dragon energy” and embrace the red MAGA Hat, sell nazi imagery on t-shirts on his website, and release music with racial slurs and pro-Hitler lyrics.  It seemed like every move of his was a calculated dumpster fire.  These were serious and hurtful stances for him to take, and they were and still are abhorrent.  At this point, I had all but written him off as a musician and a person.  Once a beloved figure, I wanted nothing to do with him.

Recently, a close friend sent me a link to an apology that he wrote, which despite sounding like a press release and coming close to an upcoming album, he seems to be admitting that he lives with bi-polar, and that he is trying to come to terms with the hateful ideologies he has spewed and is seeking forgiveness.

It got me thinking.  I know there are people in my live whom I have burned bridges with.  People who will never forgive me for my behavior when I was manic, when I was untreated, before I sought help and was able to find the space and community to recover.  When I said and did hurtful things, when I lashed out or did something horrible, I know that there are people out there who remember that behavior.  The difference is, I am not one of the most famous musicians on the face of the earth.  I know my father’s book and the Ken Burns documentary has given me a small bit of fame, but nothing like Ye’s realm that he navigates every single day.

I told another close friend that I don’t think I would be alive today, if I had Ye’s level of fame when I was sick and at my lowest.

So at what point do we forgive Ye?  Is he Charlie Brown, pulling the proverbial football from us every time we go in for a kick? Does he do this for attention, every time he has an album to promote or roll out?  Or does he genuinely want to seek help, to recover, to be well?

It’s an interesting question. I know many people, rightfully so, wrote me off a long time ago.  How do we, as a recovery-oriented community, keep people’s recovery in mind when they do or say hurtful things?  What is irredeemable?  What are the limits of forgiveness?  What can we blame on the illness, and how much of it is just bad behavior?

These are all questions people who love and care for those of us with serious mental illness must live with and ponder.

“DEAR JOHN”

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“His soul goes marching on…”

-“John Brown’s Body”, American Folk Song

HI, HOW ARE YOU?

Today is the musician and artist Daniel Johnston’s birthday and the official day for the “Hi, How Are You?” Project!  My father has written about Daniel before in his blog, Daniel is a person who lived with serious mental illness and was also a huge influence on myself and my own artwork and music.  I was lucky enough to see him in person, before he died on September 11th, 2019.

I am taking over the blog on this website from my father, who wrote about our struggles with serious mental illness in his book, CRAZY, which many of you are familiar.  My name is Kevin “Earthday Earleybird” Earley, and despite living with serious mental illness, which I take medication for daily, I am a musician and artist in my own right.

During the day, I work as a peer support specialist for Arlington County, Virginia, and music is something I do in my spare time.  My story was also recently told in the Ken Burns’ produced documentary, HIDING IN PLAIN SIGHT – Youth Mental Illness, for which my involvement, (In addition to personal testimony interviews, I created artwork, music and lyrics for the film) I was invited to the White House.

THREE JOHNS

I figured the best way to introduce myself is through my music, so why not make this blog post the premiere of my new music video, “DEAR JOHN”, that I first wrote and recorded over a year ago and have had the ideas for the music video in my head since then.  The song is a tribute to three men named John, who each changed the world and suffered tragic early demises.  The three men are John Henry, John Brown, and John Lennon.

I got the idea last year, when I noticed that the songs “THE BATTLE HYMN OF THE REPUBLIC”, “JESUS LOVES ME”, and “IMAGINE” are all in the key of C major.  I originally thought of also including John the Baptist, John Lewis, John Denver, or John Coltrane, but in the interest of keeping a general theme, brevity and personal license, the song would be too long if I included their stories, so I narrowed it down to them.

I wanted to highlight the three Johns I ended up choosing because they all changed the world for better and died tragically.  John Lennon was also killed by a man with serious mental illness, a fact not lost on me with my own mental health condition.  I am lucky to have recovered from my illness, and not succumbed to the personal demons that might have lead me to attempt such a depraved and irreversible heinous act.

John Henry fought against the mechanical automation of labor, John Brown fought against the institution of enslavement and white supremacy, John Lennon fought against the industrial capitalist war machine and subsequently all three men paid for their actions with their lives.  Each verse of the song honors one of these three men.  The lives these three men lived gained immortality through their optimism and heroics, which transcend the tragedy of this world.

THE VIDEO SHOOT

For the beginning of the music video, I went to the Strawberry Fields IMAGINE Mosaic in Central Park, where they gather to honor John Lennon on the anniversary of his death every year.  I stopped by the Metropolitan Museum of Art to capture footage of the two excellent John Brown paintings they have in their collection, John Steuart Curry’s “JOHN BROWN” and Thomas Hovenden’s “THE LAST MOMENTS OF JOHN BROWN”.  My friend and college colleague, Jaemin Cuevas, who is also a talented filmmaker, was able to capture footage not only of the memorial in the park, but got some footage of me rapping my verse inside of a gazebo by a lake.

There are always a lot of logistics when filming a music video, especially one shot in public.  I had a four hour window when I was in New York, and not only was I fortunate to have sunny weather, even if the temperature was frigid- as evidenced by my visible breath on the footage, but right when I arrived at the park I captured the opening footage of the crowd singing, “IMAGINE” which is my favorite song of John Lennon’s, and I didn’t hear them sing it at all the rest of the day I was there.  There was definitely luck, serendipity, and bit of divine timing involved in that day’s shoot.

For the second location, I drove over four hours to Talcott, West Virginia, where the John Henry Memorial is located, with my crew of Brenden DiVernere and Nathan Zeledon, whom are both film students at George Mason University.  We met my friend, professor Anthony Kwame Harrison, who teaches at Virginia Tech University.  Also very serendipitous, the weather was calling for heavy rain all day, which I was afraid would ruin the shoot.  However, we were lucky enough that once we arrived, it began to clear long enough to get footage for the video, then as we left, it began to rain again.

The third shooting location was in Harper’s Ferry, West Virginia, where John Brown famously staged his failed coup.  My friend Dustin Burdette manned the camera for this shoot, he is a talented musician and videographer in his own right.  I then gathered all of the footage and edited the video myself, after careful planning, drawing storyboards for the shoots and experiencing the luck we had with each particular shoot’s challenges.  Unfortunately, not featured in the video is the vocalist who sings the chorus- Sofi Berro, who lives in Argentina, so logistically I wasn’t able to pull off having her in the video.

So this is the world premiere of the DEAR JOHN music video, and I hope you stick around to hear me blog about my thoughts on a variety of other topics.  I hope to keep it current, relevant, and in the spirit of the blog my father started.  Thank you!!!~~~