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Walking In Others’ Shoes

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 Two unrelated stories last week caused me to think about how easy it is to blame others without “walking in” their shoes.

The first was an incredible magazine story published by The Washington Post and written by Susan Baer. I once worked at the magazine and knew the subject of the cover story, although certainly not well. One of my former colleagues, Robert Melton, suffered a stroke that drastically reduced his cognitive abilities. He was married and his wife, Page, continued to love and take care of him even though he had become a stranger who had little understanding of their marriage.  Eventually, Page fell in love with another man. She divorced her husband to marry him.

What makes this story incredible is that Page and her new husband did not abandon Robert. Rather, they made him a part of their new family and even moved Robert with Page to St. Louis when she joined her new husband to begin their lives together.

The story, which was brilliantly told, was a courageous effort to describe one of the most difficult challenges that a person can face in their lives:  what do you do when someone you love suffers a debilitating brain injury. It is an especially poignant question for those of us who love someone with a severe mental disorder.

But many readers saw the article much differently. Writing in today’s Washington Post, columnist Robert McCartney revealed in his column that the story sparked a torrent of mean-spirited comments from readers, especially anonymous ones.

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Helpful hints about what to do in a crisis, and a Post editorial

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Happy Fourth of July!

A new Psychiatric Crisis Resource Kit that can help families if someone they love develops a mental disorder is scheduled to be unveiled this week in Chicago at the national convention of the National Alliance on Mental Illness. It’s been developed by the Treatment Advocacy Center.    

Of course, the first thing that comes to mind whenever someone mentions TAC  is its aggressive and relentless campaign to promote Assisted Outpatient Treatment laws. But whether you support AOT laws or oppose them really doesn’t matter. All of us with loved ones who have a mental disorder need to be prepared and from what I have seen so far, TAC has done a real service by putting together a mental health first aid kit.

When my son first became ill, I was completely at a loss about what to do. And based on the emails and letters that I receive weekly, other parents, families and friends find themselves in the same situation.

For instance, the kit recommends that families compile a list of telephone numbers for key people, agencies and organizations that should be contacted if there is an emergency. While that sounds like a no-brainer, how many of us have the telephone number of a mobile crisis team, a psychiatric case manager, or an Assertive Community Treatment (PACT or ACT team) handy? Do you know the emergency numbers for your community mental health provider? How about your local suicide hotline? Do you know if your community has a Crisis Intervention Team and, if so, how to contact it. What’s the number of a public defender who knows mental health laws? Or a private attorney? Is there a mental health court in your jurisdiction and, if  there is, do you know what sort of cases it will hear?

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Death, Friends and Political Memories

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A funeral this week was yet another reminder that time moves on. I used to go to weddings. Now I am entering the funeral age.

It actually was an unnecessary third reminder.

The first was the death in March of David Broder,the Pulitzer Prize winning, Dean of Washington political writers. I knew him when I worked at The Washington Post, although we were not close friends. Every workplace has a pecking order and Broder sat on Mount Olympus. I was on a ledge much farther down.  

Despite that, Broder stopped by my desk shortly after I was hired and spent several minutes talking to me about Oklahoma p0litics. He had heard that the Post had hired me away from the now closed Tulsa Tribune. I was the newspaper’s lone Washington correspondent and had covered the state’s two senators and five representatives for three years.  I was shocked that someone as famous as Broder would take time to    introduce himself and even more stunned by how much he knew about Oklahoma politics. Not only was he familiar with the state’s congressional leaders, he also asked me about several county commissioners. I later learned that Broder was that well-versed about every state. Like most other young staffers, I thought he walked on water. But he was never arrogant and that was not something that could be said about several of his other Mount Olympus colleagues.  

The second death that caused me to feel nostalgic was the passing of Geraldine Ferraro, the first female candidate from a major political party to run on a presidential ticket. I had met Gerraro through an Oklahoma congressman named Mike Synar who was the only politician whom I ever covered who I considered to be a personal friend.

First, a bit about my pal Mike.

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A Mother Who Lost Her Daughter But Is Saving Others One House At A Time

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Today is Mother’s Day and I would like to tell you about an extraordinary mother who also is an amazing mental health advocate. Her name is Trudy Harsh and she lives in Fairfax, Virginia.

Trudy’s daughter, Laura, developed a brain tumor when she was eight years old. Doctors at Georgetown Hospital in Washington D.C. were able to remove it, but they warned Trudy that Laura would only live for six more years at best. 

As often happens to persons who undergo traumatic brain injuries or have parts of their brain removed, Laura awoke from her surgery a completely different person. She was not the bright, sensitive and loving child that Trudy had given birth to. The parts of her brain that controlled her emotions, especially anger, had been destroyed.