Comments for The Official Website of Author Pete Earley - Blog http://www.peteearley.com/blog Author and Mental Health Advocate Wed, 08 Sep 2010 05:00:42 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 Comment on What Role Should A Family Play? by Mary http://www.peteearley.com/blog/2010/09/07/what-role-does-a-family-have/comment-page-1/#comment-837 Mary Wed, 08 Sep 2010 05:00:42 +0000 http://www.peteearley.com/blog/?p=759#comment-837 I have the triple wammy! My mother is bi-polar and schitzophrenic. She has spent most of her life hospitalized in Virginia's State mental health hospitals, yet she mangaged to have 5 children. All of my memories of these places are pretty much horrible. Often it would take up to three years to stablize her meds, she would come home, commit some kind of minor crime(stealing shoes) or eating neighbors flowers, trying to trade her used chewing gum for an icecream, that would land her right back in the facility. Once when I was about age 12, she escaped and came home to my grandmothers house. I convinced her to let my uncle take her back and rode along. At Eastern State, I watched through the car window as 5 big male attendants fought her to the ground. She was never violent. <br> <br>At the age of 21 my super intelligent brother succumed to the disease. He had been a straight A student, he even aquired a full scholarship to VMI. He could not handle the stress of the school and dropped out. Joined the military? who knows why he did that. He was eventually discharged dishonorably. He ended up in Panama City Beach, where he was charged with being a Peeping Tom. Then he went missing, it has been 15 years since he was last seen. I call the social security office every 6 months to see if they are sending him a check. They wont confirm that they are, but they tell me that do not show that he is deceased. Yet. I have sent letters through them and they have always been unanswered. Everyone in his entire family has moved. So even if he wanted, he probally could not find us. <br> <br>Then my daughter at the age of 22 started to show signs of illness. At least I had the experience and she has some knowledge of the family illness. She sought help right away. It has been a rocky two years though, with the ups and downs. She is schizo-affective. She was overmedicated for a year, almost non-functionional and gained 70lbs on Zyprexa. Major depression because of it. Went off meds, started drinking. Been to alochol treatment, been to drug treatment. Changed meds. Lost weight. Got a job. Lost it. Got a bad boyfriend. Moved in with him. Left him. Went back for a week, left again. Changed her meds again, did not go well at all. While visting an aunt during the med switch she stressed out and was hospitalized overnight in Jacksonville, FL Mental Health Hospital. She was tearful when she called, explaining that it was a horrible place. Funny thing, she was not so much sad that she was there, she was sad because she realized that her Grandmother has spent much of her life in places like it. When they let her go, her aunt would not allow her back at her house. So I had to get her a plane ticket home. She stayed with me for a week. Wanted to go out with friends drinking, I put my foot down. She left. Living with one of her friends mom right now. She aspires to do things with her life though, so I have hope. She has registered for a web design class and has found another part time job. The hardest thing for her has been that she wants to be a normal 24 year old. Free to do whatever she wants. I know that she can have the freedom, but drinking for her messes up her balance very easy. Staying up late and not getting her rest messes up her balance too. I try tell her that diabetics cannot eat everything they want. There must be lifestyle changes for her to stay healthy. But she does not want to hear that from her mother. At least, not as much as I say it. LOL. We are working on our relationship. It is not easy. I have the triple wammy! My mother is bi-polar and schitzophrenic. She has spent most of her life hospitalized in Virginia's State mental health hospitals, yet she mangaged to have 5 children. All of my memories of these places are pretty much horrible. Often it would take up to three years to stablize her meds, she would come home, commit some kind of minor crime(stealing shoes) or eating neighbors flowers, trying to trade her used chewing gum for an icecream, that would land her right back in the facility. Once when I was about age 12, she escaped and came home to my grandmothers house. I convinced her to let my uncle take her back and rode along. At Eastern State, I watched through the car window as 5 big male attendants fought her to the ground. She was never violent.

At the age of 21 my super intelligent brother succumed to the disease. He had been a straight A student, he even aquired a full scholarship to VMI. He could not handle the stress of the school and dropped out. Joined the military? who knows why he did that. He was eventually discharged dishonorably. He ended up in Panama City Beach, where he was charged with being a Peeping Tom. Then he went missing, it has been 15 years since he was last seen. I call the social security office every 6 months to see if they are sending him a check. They wont confirm that they are, but they tell me that do not show that he is deceased. Yet. I have sent letters through them and they have always been unanswered. Everyone in his entire family has moved. So even if he wanted, he probally could not find us.

Then my daughter at the age of 22 started to show signs of illness. At least I had the experience and she has some knowledge of the family illness. She sought help right away. It has been a rocky two years though, with the ups and downs. She is schizo-affective. She was overmedicated for a year, almost non-functionional and gained 70lbs on Zyprexa. Major depression because of it. Went off meds, started drinking. Been to alochol treatment, been to drug treatment. Changed meds. Lost weight. Got a job. Lost it. Got a bad boyfriend. Moved in with him. Left him. Went back for a week, left again. Changed her meds again, did not go well at all. While visting an aunt during the med switch she stressed out and was hospitalized overnight in Jacksonville, FL Mental Health Hospital. She was tearful when she called, explaining that it was a horrible place. Funny thing, she was not so much sad that she was there, she was sad because she realized that her Grandmother has spent much of her life in places like it. When they let her go, her aunt would not allow her back at her house. So I had to get her a plane ticket home. She stayed with me for a week. Wanted to go out with friends drinking, I put my foot down. She left. Living with one of her friends mom right now. She aspires to do things with her life though, so I have hope. She has registered for a web design class and has found another part time job. The hardest thing for her has been that she wants to be a normal 24 year old. Free to do whatever she wants. I know that she can have the freedom, but drinking for her messes up her balance very easy. Staying up late and not getting her rest messes up her balance too. I try tell her that diabetics cannot eat everything they want. There must be lifestyle changes for her to stay healthy. But she does not want to hear that from her mother. At least, not as much as I say it. LOL. We are working on our relationship. It is not easy.

]]> Comment on What Role Should A Family Play? by ggb http://www.peteearley.com/blog/2010/09/07/what-role-does-a-family-have/comment-page-1/#comment-836 ggb Tue, 07 Sep 2010 21:45:30 +0000 http://www.peteearley.com/blog/?p=759#comment-836 Wow, thank you Pete for addressing this painful problem among family members. Our entire extended family have alienated my son for years now ... they simply do not want to learn how to support him, especially when he is in crises. My son also refuses treatment and since he was diagnosed as a child, we know he benefits from just a small amount of medication. Now as an adult, he receives very small amounts of supports/services due to his "right to say no". It is "crazy" indeed that we family members have to make our own sick children "hate us" in order for us to help them stay well, out of jail or attempt to keep them alive! For more info read here:<a href="http://changementalhealthlawsinky.blogspot.com" rel="nofollow">http://changementalhealthlawsinky.blogspot.com</a>/ Wow, thank you Pete for addressing this painful problem among family members. Our entire extended family have alienated my son for years now … they simply do not want to learn how to support him, especially when he is in crises. My son also refuses treatment and since he was diagnosed as a child, we know he benefits from just a small amount of medication. Now as an adult, he receives very small amounts of supports/services due to his “right to say no”. It is “crazy” indeed that we family members have to make our own sick children “hate us” in order for us to help them stay well, out of jail or attempt to keep them alive! For more info read here:http://changementalhealthlawsinky.blogspot.com/

]]> Comment on What Role Should A Family Play? by Karen http://www.peteearley.com/blog/2010/09/07/what-role-does-a-family-have/comment-page-1/#comment-835 Karen Tue, 07 Sep 2010 21:14:42 +0000 http://www.peteearley.com/blog/?p=759#comment-835 My high-functioning autistic, biopolar, ADHD, sensory dysfunctional son is now 22 years old. The period between ages 18 and 21 was toughest. He had done well in early adolescence, compliant with meds and therapy. Then overnight he became "an adult" at which time he abruptly stopped his meds stating "he didn't need them anymore". In the ensuing months, he was made to leave home for aggressive behaviors toward me and his younger brother (I am a single mom) and he dropped out of high school a month before graduation. All of this occuring while I was pleading for help at the top of my voice. Some listened but no one could do anything. Finally four years later he is back on meds and stable thanks to an understanding District Attorney and a "creative" mutual agreement by which he now receives weekly visits from a case manager. Not exactly AOT, but as close as you can get in Tennessee (we remain 1 of 6 states without a Kendra's Law). But it took homelessness, learning to self-medicate with drugs and alcohol, several misdeameanor arrests, a brush with a felony charge that was dropped, a tasing episode, repeated victimization and loss of personal property ... for him to say "mom, I need my meds". My experience has led me to become a passionate advocate for AOT Laws in Tennessee. Thank you, Pete, for your encouragement along the long, dark way. It has always reassured me to read your book and your blog entries and know that there are others of "us" out there. My high-functioning autistic, biopolar, ADHD, sensory dysfunctional son is now 22 years old. The period between ages 18 and 21 was toughest. He had done well in early adolescence, compliant with meds and therapy. Then overnight he became “an adult” at which time he abruptly stopped his meds stating “he didn't need them anymore”. In the ensuing months, he was made to leave home for aggressive behaviors toward me and his younger brother (I am a single mom) and he dropped out of high school a month before graduation. All of this occuring while I was pleading for help at the top of my voice. Some listened but no one could do anything. Finally four years later he is back on meds and stable thanks to an understanding District Attorney and a “creative” mutual agreement by which he now receives weekly visits from a case manager. Not exactly AOT, but as close as you can get in Tennessee (we remain 1 of 6 states without a Kendra's Law). But it took homelessness, learning to self-medicate with drugs and alcohol, several misdeameanor arrests, a brush with a felony charge that was dropped, a tasing episode, repeated victimization and loss of personal property … for him to say “mom, I need my meds”. My experience has led me to become a passionate advocate for AOT Laws in Tennessee. Thank you, Pete, for your encouragement along the long, dark way. It has always reassured me to read your book and your blog entries and know that there are others of “us” out there.

]]> Comment on What Role Should A Family Play? by Sallie http://www.peteearley.com/blog/2010/09/07/what-role-does-a-family-have/comment-page-1/#comment-834 Sallie Tue, 07 Sep 2010 19:58:45 +0000 http://www.peteearley.com/blog/?p=759#comment-834 One passage I remember in your book is when a couple tells you that a parent has to be willing to have their child hate them in order to save them if they have a mental illness. You have to love your child enough to have them hate you. Incredible. That is insane and that is what you must do. One passage I remember in your book is when a couple tells you that a parent has to be willing to have their child hate them in order to save them if they have a mental illness. You have to love your child enough to have them hate you. Incredible. That is insane and that is what you must do.

]]> Comment on What Role Should A Family Play? by Beth Meyer http://www.peteearley.com/blog/2010/09/07/what-role-does-a-family-have/comment-page-1/#comment-833 Beth Meyer Tue, 07 Sep 2010 19:15:41 +0000 http://www.peteearley.com/blog/?p=759#comment-833 My husband and I are not there...yet. Our son, who has bipolar disorder with very persistent psychotic features, Asperger's, ADHD and other learning issues, is almost 13. When he was about 11, I stopped focusing on exclusively special education-related issues and started looking toward the future, and this included reading your book, Dr. Amador's, and others. We have had to hospitalize our son and he has spent some time in residential treatment. We are at the very beginnings of researching things he will likely need in the future, such as SSI. Our son is on the decade-long waiting list for our state Medicaid waiver programs, and we are also planning to look at various guardianship options, special needs trusts, and other such things that I never would have heard of otherwise. There is a very high likelihood, barring some incredible medical breakthrough in the next five years, that we will be having to put this groundwork information in practice. I don't know what we will do for sure or what the future will bring, but we worry about it and there is a small part of us that envies parents who watch their children grow up and leave home as self-sufficient adults, leaving those parents able to pursue activities again as a couple. It's kind of like parenthood itself. You try to prepare yourself and think you might know what to expect, but when it happens, you realize that you didn't have a clue. Thank you for your insights in your book and your blog - you are one of the bright spots we are using to try to see down the road ahead of us. My husband and I are not there…yet. Our son, who has bipolar disorder with very persistent psychotic features, Asperger's, ADHD and other learning issues, is almost 13. When he was about 11, I stopped focusing on exclusively special education-related issues and started looking toward the future, and this included reading your book, Dr. Amador's, and others. We have had to hospitalize our son and he has spent some time in residential treatment. We are at the very beginnings of researching things he will likely need in the future, such as SSI. Our son is on the decade-long waiting list for our state Medicaid waiver programs, and we are also planning to look at various guardianship options, special needs trusts, and other such things that I never would have heard of otherwise. There is a very high likelihood, barring some incredible medical breakthrough in the next five years, that we will be having to put this groundwork information in practice. I don't know what we will do for sure or what the future will bring, but we worry about it and there is a small part of us that envies parents who watch their children grow up and leave home as self-sufficient adults, leaving those parents able to pursue activities again as a couple. It's kind of like parenthood itself. You try to prepare yourself and think you might know what to expect, but when it happens, you realize that you didn't have a clue. Thank you for your insights in your book and your blog – you are one of the bright spots we are using to try to see down the road ahead of us.

]]> Comment on Family Seeking Missing Son by Forsdyke1 http://www.peteearley.com/blog/2010/08/31/family-seeking-missing-son/comment-page-1/#comment-832 Forsdyke1 Sun, 05 Sep 2010 23:59:20 +0000 http://www.peteearley.com/blog/?p=756#comment-832 Sorry to hear that . Could he have got into canada, do you think Sorry to hear that . Could he have got into canada, do you think

]]> Comment on Mental Illnesses Never Take Vacations by IheartNAMI http://www.peteearley.com/blog/2010/08/16/mental-illness-never-takes-a-vacation/comment-page-1/#comment-831 IheartNAMI Sat, 04 Sep 2010 01:19:26 +0000 http://www.peteearley.com/blog/?p=734#comment-831 Thanks, Pete. This brought tears to my eyes and hope to my heart. I love your blog! Thanks, Pete. This brought tears to my eyes and hope to my heart. I love your blog!

]]> Comment on Real Hannibal Lectors, Brain disorders, and A New Book by Trotrider http://www.peteearley.com/blog/2010/08/30/real-hannibal-lectors-brain-disorders-and-a-new-book/comment-page-1/#comment-830 Trotrider Tue, 31 Aug 2010 04:32:51 +0000 http://www.peteearley.com/blog/?p=747#comment-830 Pete, I'm not sure I'll want to read this story......but I will.<br> Thanks for your commitment to the untold story.<br>Lisa Sheridan Pete, I'm not sure I'll want to read this story……but I will.
Thanks for your commitment to the untold story.
Lisa Sheridan

]]> Comment on Real Hannibal Lectors, Brain disorders, and A New Book by Abby http://www.peteearley.com/blog/2010/08/30/real-hannibal-lectors-brain-disorders-and-a-new-book/comment-page-1/#comment-829 Abby Mon, 30 Aug 2010 19:51:56 +0000 http://www.peteearley.com/blog/?p=747#comment-829 This sounds very interesting! Your books always have an impact on me and I'm sure this one will too. I look forward to its release. This sounds very interesting! Your books always have an impact on me and I'm sure this one will too. I look forward to its release.

]]> Comment on Sergei Tretyakov, Russian Spy ‘Comrade J,’ Dead at 53 by Steve http://www.peteearley.com/blog/2010/07/09/sergei-tretyakov-comrade-j-has-died/comment-page-2/#comment-828 Steve Thu, 26 Aug 2010 03:38:52 +0000 http://www.peteearley.com/blog/?p=604#comment-828 I am currently reading Mr. Earley's book on Sergei and so far have found it quite enjoyable and informative.<br><br>I offer my condolences to Mrs. Tretyakov and Ksenia. I am sorry for your loss. I only wish Sergei could have had more time here among us to help open people's eyes to the deceit and thuggery of those who are currently ruling Russia. I am currently reading Mr. Earley's book on Sergei and so far have found it quite enjoyable and informative.

I offer my condolences to Mrs. Tretyakov and Ksenia. I am sorry for your loss. I only wish Sergei could have had more time here among us to help open people's eyes to the deceit and thuggery of those who are currently ruling Russia.

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